Saturday, November 21, 2009

Gallery visitors in the wild...

Whilst working in an art gallery, all kinds of people walk in and out.
However, I've come to notice that people who visit art galleries tend to fit in one or more of the following categories:

* The "I am VERY interested in art" look:
Frown, arms crossed, chin resting on one arm, finger/sunglasses in mouth or against lip (sometimes ticking against it), loads of pointing, nodding and mumbling

* The "I can't afford any of this but I wish I could" look:
Shy & appologetic entry, blending in with background, looking at objects in awe, quick dissappointed pricetag glances, nervous looks towards gallery personnel

* The "I'm a connaisseur and collector" look:
Quick entry, quick walk-by, selecting pieces in a matter-of-factly manner like you're choosing sweets; very blase and whateverish, bark at gallery personnel, look on face like you're smelling poo

* The "I'm a connaisseur but have no money" look:
Quick entry and exit, inbetwixt loads of showing off what you know about the artist to gallery personnel

* The "I don't give a damn about art but I need a place to hang/perv on gallery personnel" look:
Slow tigerish entry, ignoring artwork, looking at boobs, grinning and chuckling

* The "Oh my GOD, I can't believe you have [insert artist name] in your gallery!!" look:
Quick entry, loads of exclamations of joy, pointing, telling your companions how wonderful it is that you can see x's work in the flesh, doing the same towards gallery personnel

* The "I'm an art student, but believe me I'd rather be home playing on my XBox" look:
Slow entry, oftentimes in packs, with art history teacher, wandering around thinking about how you think your lover is cheating on you and that you want to eat pre-fab pizza for dinner tonite, whilst pretending you're interested. Asking if the postcards are free, taking a few to show you were there. Getting the hell outta there as soon as you can

* The "It's raining outside, do you mind?" look: Quick dripping entry, loads of umbrella shaking and clothes flapping, mixed-feelings walk-thru, loads of glances out of the window

* The "I'm an artist too, maybe you want to showcase some of my work?" look:
Nervous entry, quick look-see, slowly move towards gallery personnel, ask gallery personnel how they tend to find the artists they showcase, try to do this matter-of-factly but slowly dying inside. Pull out book with images of own artworks, try to do this matter-of-factly but dying a tad faster inside. Ask if gallery personell would be interested in exhibiting your work, try to do this matter-of-factly but completely dying inside. Walk away nervously

* The "I'm a tourist, I know nothing about anything" look:
Bewildered entry with backpack whilst looking at worn-out map, walking around lost, talking in tongues, asking directions as you leave

* The "A video! You have a video!" look:
Normal entry, walk around looking at artwork, suddenly spot the videoscreen, get overjoyed. Spend at least 45 minutes watching the video whilst changing positions
. Walk away when video ends/starts over


Anonymous said...

yes hallo

ik ben deze:
- The "I'm a connaisseur but have no money" look:
Quick entry and exit, inbetwixt loads of showing off what you know about the artist to gallery personnel
..(maar zal nooit en te nimmer het personeel hiermee lastig vallen;behalve bij irritant personeel..gewoon om te pesten)..ik mis de opties bij expo's: ''Im only here for the free drinks and munchies'' (zoiets)..die gaat dan bij deze over mij-x-andrea

Anonymous said...

the girls in the pic look hot.