Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Books and Thoughts

Old ghosts that death forgot to ferry
Across the Lethe of the years -
These are my friends, and at their tears
I weep and with their mirth am merry.
On a high tower, whose battlements
Give me all heaven at a glance,
I lie long summer nights in trance,
Drowsed by the murmurs and the scents
That rise from earth, while the sky above me
Merges its peace with my soul's peace,
Deep meeting deep. No stir can move me,
Nought break the quiet of my release:
In vain the windy sunlight raves
At the hush and gloom of polar caves.

-Aldous Huxley-


As time
wonky legs

Tripping over

I stare
two hands


for legs
to unlock

to caress
locked down

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Right, so I was tagged....well, sorta tagged.
And now I have the choice ignore the tag, or write answers to a list of questions about moi.
*clears throat*

1. What are your current obsessions?

Don't think I'm currently obsessed about anything really.
I know it sounds boring, but I'm feeling quite obsession-free right now.
*looks around uncomfortably*
Is that weird?

2. What Items in your wardrobe do you most wear?

Although I'm sort of reforming what I wear and opting for skirts & dresses the last few years, (I AM a chick, after all, gotta show some leg) I'm more a jeans & sneakers kinda' gal.
There was a time when I was absolutely obsessed with finding great unconventional sneakers, but that has subdued somewhat. Altho I still don't buy them at Frontrunner or Foot Locker, move away masses!!
And if there's a story attached to them, all the better.

It started when I went to the US at 17 and bought my first pair of Adidas Old Skool sneakers at a gritty mall, somewhere in L.A. where we were the only customers.
The clerks were genuinely surprised when we walked in:
"Oooh customers, yo!!"
BOOM!! I was hooked.
It earned me the nickname Sporty Spice, and no, not cuz I'm an athlete...

My current pair of black & gold Reebocks hail from Paris, where I bought them on a hot & sweaty day in August, last year (pain & blistering meant it took a while before I could wear them) with one of my close Parisian friends, just before we went dancing on the Seine embankment.

3. The last thing you bought?

I bought a myriad of snazzy necklaces, earrings and rings, to send to family members as gifts.
Found a lovely little shop with very special jewelry, not the gold & silver type. Went awol in the shop, which confounded the girl who worked there; don't think she ever saw anyone buy in bulk before. I'm happy to report that everybody loved their lush jewelry so the binge buy wasn't for nothing.

I also bought my actors fun-condoms...hahahahah
As part of my last play had to do with sex (eh, yeah, not THAT kind of play!) I decided to go with that part of the theme and do something unexpected and fun.
So I went to a special condom shop (you should check it, it's fun!) and bought them bonbon-shaped condoms, as opening-night gifts.
Needless to say there was much laughter in the dressing-room before the show started.

4. What are you listening to?

Well, as you know I'm a fanatic blipper.
This is partially due to the fact that I had to remove all the tunes I had stored in my computer & on iTunes, cuz they were talking up most of my poor iMac's memory space. And it was going slow under the burden.
Do still have them, but safely tucked away on an external HD, not to mention on a bunch of CD's and vinyl records. So I do listen to my own stash of tunes.
But I haven't been able to find a way to play the digital stuff without hassle in this manner (if you have any suggestions, please tell me how!).
And so I blip a lot these days.
So if you want to know the answer to this question: check my blips!

5. Fave holiday spots?

Apart from exploring new territories, and going on adventures, I enjoy hanging out in Spain.
Whether it's on the Atlantic coast & the ocean I was named after, or on the Mediterranean.
All good. Especially whilst visiting my family, grandparents in particular.
The combination of sea, sun, mountains great food and wonderful people refuels my tank.
Maybe it's a roots thing, I dunno. But going back is always a total pleasure.

That said, I do love traveling.
Every so often my gypsy blood boils with the need to move & seeing new things & new people.
Thankfully I've been able to do quite a lot of that these last few years due to a film org I'm involved with. Even if it's for "work" meeting new cool peeps & seeing new places rocks!
And the journey to each destination is an event on itself, that I've always loved, ever since I was a little girl.

6. What are you reading?

There's always a pile of books on my nightstand.
I'm currently reading "Don Quixote" an epic story & one I think everybody who loves literature should've read at some point. Especially those that hail from Spain. It's a tough read, cuz it's in a Spanish that has been long lost, and so loads of foot notes explaining old words & meanings & etc. But it's definitely well worth it! Wonderful to read about this book devourer that gets lost in his imagination and lives all kinds of adventures, some real but all covered in a blanket of make-belief.

Other books currently on my nightstand: "La Divina Commedia - Paradiso" by Dante Alighieri, "Fool for love and other plays" by Sam Shepard, "A" by Andy Warhol, graphic novel "Bone" by Jeff Smith, "The Rules of Attraction" by Brett Easton Ellis, "Me alquilo para soñar" (I hire myself to dream) by Gabriel García Márquez.

I've always devoured books, altho I don't read nearly as much as I used to before.
Tv and other distractions have had a hand at that. But I still love buying myself a lush new book and getting stuck in. (did I say "a book"? I normally leave bookstores with a well-filled bag of goodies) And I always read in bed before going to sleep.
Nothing like a cold rainy day, while sitting inside with a mug of tea and a book, listening to the drip drip dripping outside the window. Bliss...

7. Four words to describe you?

Nutty, brainy, entertaining, dreamer

8. Guilty Pleasure?

Never feel guilty about stuff that's pleasurable.
Unless its something freaky that you really shouldn't be doing, of course.
Other than that, I think it's important to have some pleasure in your life, inbetwixt all the responsible stuff, it's nice to let go. Albeit by watching stupid tv programs, eating crisps, indulging in chocolate mounts or doing other shite. It's all good...

9. If you were God/Goddess who would you be?

Hmm.....difficult one...
I don't think I would like to be a goddess of any kind, as it would mean that I would have to reign in some way, and altho I do like to direct & lead, reigning is a step beyond.
However, if you look at mount Olympus, THOSE goddesses went awol, didn't they?
They certainly lived the life!
No reigning there...just a shitload of debauchery, sex, banquets and wildness...
If anybody knew how to party it was the ancient Greek gods...
Greek gods then.
So which one of the main Olympian goddesses would I be?

Well, I'd rule out Hera, she's a bit too tame for me and really the less fun of the three ladies in top command. That leaves Aphrodite, goddess of lust & beauty, and Athena, goddess of wisdom and warfare.
Ideally I would mix and match those two together, and create a whole new deity.
Because as is, they're both too extreme in either direction, one is unbridled passion, the other is brainy without any *rawr* whatsoever.
(apart from the war thing that seems a bit odd in combination with the wisdom, but that's a different story altogether)

So yeah, I wouldn't want lust & beauty without intellect, nor would I want intellect without passion. And so I shall create my own Athena & Aphrodite special blend.

HA! Move over Zeus!

10. Who/what makes you laugh until you are weak?

I've been told I have a peculiar sense of humor.
Not because I don't find those things funny that you might find hilarious.
More the other way around:
Did the kid in the Sixth Sense "see dead people", well "I see humor!".
And so I find myself grinning, giggling and laughing at things other people don't find remotely hilarious. I certainly have a soft spot for humor, that's for sure. If you can make me laugh, chances are we 'll become friends.
That said, I'm a sucker for cartoons, old monster movies and muppets.

11. Fave spring thing to do?

IS there such a thing as a "spring thing"?
I mean, I can come up with summer things, winter things, and maybe even fall things...but spring things?
Apart from being extremely happy that the sun is finally showing it's pretty face I can't really think of anything concrete. Maybe you can...

12. When you die what would you like people to say about you at your funeral?

I've thought about this one before actually.
Not because I have any urge to leave this world and all it's madness, Oh no no no!
But cuz of other stuff. (wrote about that before, so go read further on in my blog)
I guess I would like people to say that I've inspired them in some way, shape or form.
Not cuz I think I'm *that* special, but because I hope I can inspire new thoughts, ideas & views in people.
*shakes head*
It's too complex to jot down, like this, maybe I'll tell you about it sometime.

13. Best thing you ate and drank lately?

AMAZING chocolate bonbons, that one of my actors took with as opening night gift.
They were SO good, seriously everybody went silent for a minute (after they laughed their asses off with the condom bonbons)

14. When did you last go for a night out?

Went to a club last nite, in the wee hours of the nite.
One of my friends was there & she texted me to come, cuz her date was leaving and she really didn't want to go yet. So I peeled myself off the couch, washed off the grime, got my club outfit on and went dancing.
I got in for free cuz it was *that* late, & danced my socks off with my friend.
Good stuff...

15. Fave film ever?

E.T., cuz its what got me into acting.
I was 4 or 5, spent most of the film, hidden behind my cinema chair.
Yet I knew there & then, that I wanted to do exactly what that little boy was doing.
No, not the hanging out with an alien thing per-se, but the pretending to do so and the creating adventures on such a magical thing as the big screen.
Well, still working on it...ehem....but, yeah, never regretted it either.
Not for real anyways.

16. Share some Wisdom:

Love life, it's the only chance you have at this life, so make it count.
Don't waste your time by thinking negative thoughts about that what surrounds you, always look at what you can do to change it. Negativity holds you back, positivity is constructive & takes you places. So, love it, even when it sucks...bad things always come to an end.
It's too short, not to!!

17. Song you can’t get out of your head:

Not right now, but often, very often...have a song song a buzzing in my head head.

18. Thing you are looking forward to:

SUMMER!!!!!! part of the year!

19. If you could change one detail from your past what would that be?

Don't really believe in changing anything, as all things that passed, good or bad, are part of what makes me "me" at this particular moment in time.
That said, & taking into account what I know now, I guess I wish I would've been more pro-active way back when & taken more chances.

Tag you’re it…

...if you just read this post and haven't written one like this yet, then consider yourself tagged!!
Get to thinking and write down your answers to the questions above.
I'm curious to hear YOUR answers too!!

Saturday, June 20, 2009


Like yellow
Spring chicks
Ducklings in canals

on yellow


Big eyes
take in

Mother hens
with opened
little flags

Light flashes
with smoke

And gentle
Of voices
Changing dynamics

Sun grins

Friday, June 19, 2009


Whilst discussing Iran & politics at large yesterday, I suddenly thought back on Plato's “Parabola of the cave”... Because it got me thinking about people’s perception of the world, and what’s true to them and what isn’t.

And so I thought I'd share it with you, in case you don't, cuz it reflects quite a lot of how we perceive the world around us, me thinks...

Here goes:

Imagine people, who live their whole life in a cave. They are tied up, in such a way that they face the same wall all their lives. High above, but far behind them, illuminating that wall are some torches.
Between the torches and the tied up people there's a road, with a head high fence.

Imagine other people walking behind that fence holding up items. But also statues of people and animals, made out of wood. These items drop shadows on the wall the prisoners face. Some people behind the fence talk and others are silent.
And imagine the sound of their voices echoes against the wall with shadows, so it seems to the prisoners as if the shadows produce those sounds.

They will believe that reality is the shadows they see, and the voices they hear. To them a vase is the shadow of the vase they see projected on the wall.

Imagine now that one of them, after a lifetime of being tied up facing that wall and seeing the shadows....gets set free.
He is taken out of the cave into the real world.

He then sees the objects, whose shadows he's seen all his life. He sees people speak for the first time, and hears sounds directly from the source. He sees light and colours. Smells flowers and rain, feels the sunshine on his skin, the wind in his hair...

What then will be reality to him? That which he’s known all his life, or that what he sees before him?

And if it’s the latter and he returns to the cave what will happen?

If he tells his people what he's seen and experienced, nobody will believe him, because nobody knows that reality. Their reality are the shadows before them, anything else is fantasy. But it IS a reality.

That leads to the question; What IS reality?
What defines it?
Because if the definition of reality is "it is what we see and experience in everyday life", then the cave would be reality won't it?
But would you consider the cave to be reality? friends is Plato's parabola of the cave....
No answers tho...just questions ;) "

And...with that....I open the doors to discussion

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Soft words
Hands caressing.

He closes
his eyes,
making the darkness darker


His other
senses heightened
can feel her
hands touching
his chest


Nerve ends
breaths feel
storm winds
on skin

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Theatre is a strange thing.
Unlike film or tv it's only there for a brief moment, you can smell it, taste it, feel it, and then,  just as quickly as it appeared on stage...pooof!
It's gone.
Months of tension, rehearsals, discussions, stress, laughter....gone...

I always find myself feeling slightly melancholy and happy at the same time, when it's time for a play to go on stage.
For, it's what we've worked hard on to create.
It's a labor of love containing galleons of blood, sweat, tears, joy and elbow grease.
Yet, I know that the moment will be short lived, for in a few days the play will cease to exist.
And will be nothing but a fleeting memory and some photos/images on a DVD registration.

Why then do I submit myself to this painful torture of good-bye, every single time?

Because the moment it IS there. 
The moment it's alive. 
The moment you can feel it, touch it, taste it...that moment...
Is the best moment you can live, ever!

The experience of directing and writing it can only be surpassed by experiencing it firsthand while performing on stage. When you're the vessel that makes the audiences live the story & for a moment you're somebody else living it as if it were true.

The buzz of the audience.
The joy of entertaining a venue full of people.
The creation of a different world up on stage, and taking the audience on a journey through the lives of the fictional characters on it, that for a moment are as real as the seats they're sitting on...

It's absolute bliss....

Thursday, June 4, 2009


A word
Lies silent on his lips

He tastes it
Waits till it melts

Greasy rainbow
With a little salt

Her eyes 
Penetrate his skin
But the word is stuck

He closes his eyes
To be invisible

Greasy rainbow sticks 
To his palate
A sip from his coke
Wayyy too obvious

He waits

His flesh
His mouth 

It's too late
He thinks
Into the chair